


Someday You Will Find Me Caught Beneath a Landslide

by Arkvandeley



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: AU, M/M, Mention of Bipolar disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 19:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkvandeley/pseuds/Arkvandeley
Summary: Isak's neighbor plays his guitar every night. Isak falls asleep to it every night until he doesn't.





	Someday You Will Find Me Caught Beneath a Landslide

**Author's Note:**

> [prompt](https://twitter.com/evaesheim/status/887053293888966658)
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> this is my first story on ao3 and also my first time writing skam or fanfiction at all in a very long time, I liked the idea a lot so i finally worked up the courage to write something!! I think I took considerable liberty with this and I only feel a little self-conscious about this lmao. I kinda wanted to make even play Wonderwall but I decided to take this seriously lol. I hope everyone enjoys my very extra story 
> 
> for clarification, this takes place when isak is in university, he's like 19/20 and even is 21/22. season 3 doesn't happen but isak is out by the time this takes place.
> 
> title from Champagne Supernova by Oasis

The first time Isak hears it, he has his ear against the wall behind the head of his bed. Because his walls are thin but they're not that thin, and the muffled melody was just loud enough to peak Isak's interest. Against the wall, he can barely recognize the song. 

It frustrates him a little, actually. He's sure that he knows the song from somewhere, it's a beautiful song, but he can't pinpoint what it is or where he's heard it, and he'd be more annoyed about that if he wasn't almost mesmerized by it. And when the voice starts singing, Isak wants to burst through the wall to get the full effect. 

_the world may think I'm foolish_

_they can't see you like I can_

_oh, but anyone who knows what love is_

_will understand_

It's too much to listen to through a wall. There's too much sentimentality in the voice, too much softness in the way the instrument is strung, there's too much effortless comfort in the song being played in the other room for Isak to be okay with how he's hearing it. He feels robbed. 

He feels silly when he feels that all too familiar feeling of his head swinging forward as he's drifting off into sleep because he still has his head against the wall. He gets that feeling when he's in a lecture, coping with 3 hours of sleep from the previous night. The feeling of his head drastically falling forward when he's really only nodding off. 

Tonight, he finally feels it in his own bed at a reasonable time. 

-

15 Million Merits. Isak skims through that episode of Black Mirror while he's on the tram on his way to campus because he has a hunch that the song from that episode is the song that the stranger was playing the previous night. The song that has been playing in a loop in his head all day. When he hears it, he knows he's right. It's a bit of a confidence boost. 

Not just because it proves Isak right and Isak loves being right, but because now he can maybe assume that the stranger with the talented fingers and deep and melodic voice is also a fan of one of Isak's favorite shows and that gives Isak an advantage in his (eventual) attempt to court the stranger the way Isak's being courted. Even though he's yet to catch a glimpse of his new neighbor who unknowingly courts him every night, Isak is willing to marry the man with the talent to put him to sleep with that song. 

He can only hope the man practices his skill every night. 

 

-

Isak doesn't spend too much time home. Between school, his job, and his friends, it's not too often that he spends time in or by his apartment. He leaves in the morning and comes back at night. It never bothered him in the past months he's lived like this until now. 

Because the secret performer seems to have a similar lifestyle to him, and despite falling in love with his voice and guitar every night over numerous weeks (much to Isak's delight), he's yet to actually see his face. It would be nice to thank the man that gave him his sanity back and a reason to come home at night. 

Isak thinks this while laying in bed, waiting for the faint sound of music coming from behind his wall. 

He thinks that his ears have adapted specifically to listen to his neighbor's music. By now, he doesn't need to fall asleep with his ear against the wall, he can lay his head on his pillow and hear the song his neighbor starts to play. It seems like he won't sing at all during the first song. Isak usually falls asleep halfway through the first song, but he's glad he doesn't today because he finally hears his voice start to sing at the end of the song. 

_more, you want more_

_more, you want more, you tell me_

_more. only time can run me_

Isak doesn't know how many times those lines are repeated, he falls asleep listening to them. 

 

-

Isak is getting ready to meet up with his friends when he hears a knock at his door. He knows he's been taking his time getting ready so he kind of expects to find one of the boys there wondering what's taking him so long, but he doesn't think that they'd come all the way to his apartment for him. 

He doesn't find one of the boys at his door, this one is too tall and captivating to be Jonas, Mahdi, or Magnus. Isak wouldn't think that the person standing in front of him is a real person. 

"Hi, sorry if I'm interrupting anything, I'm Even. We haven't met but I live next door, almost two months now. This is a long overdue meeting," he starts and Isak wants to groan. Of course, this is the guy Isak listens to every night. As if he wasn't ethereal enough in Isak's head. Isak nods.

"Right, well I got a complaint from the tenant above my apartment, they said I played my music too loud at night. I just thought that if they could hear it, I'd imagine it'd be worse for you, you're right next to me," he smiles. 

"If it's been a nuisance, I'm sorry. It's just that I don't have enough time during the day to play and-" 

"No, don't worry." Isak interrupts. He feels bad because he didn't mean to. 

"I mean, yeah, I can hear it but it doesn't bother me. No need to apologize, it doesn't keep me up," he explains, offering a small smile which makes Even smile. 

"I'm glad it doesn't. Just thought I'd come apologize before I got a second complaint and felt extra bad about it," 

Isak shakes his head. "No, it's no big deal. The guy who complained is ungrateful."  
He doesn't know how that would sound to Even which is why he regrets saying that for a second before Even nods, not weirded out by what Isak said. 

"Yeah-" Even is interrupted again but this time by Isak's phone. 

Isak wants to groan and cancel on Jonas when he sees his name on his screen. 

"Yeah?" He answers. 

"'Yeah?' Dude, where are you, are you bailing or something?" Jonas asks. 

Isak has a history of bailing on pre-drinks and parties, he starts to think that adding one more time to that list won't hurt if he can keep speaking to Even. The problem is, Isak doesn't know what he would even say to Even, if he could come up with anything to say. 

"No, I'll be there, something just came up." He doesn't look at Even as he answers, he'll feel worse about his lack of courage if he looks at the person he's leaving behind. 

"Alright, you should probably come before it's over then." Isak rolls his eyes. 

"Yeah, I'll be there in a bit." Isak hangs up and looks up at Even who actually looks apologetic now. 

"Sorry that I held you up," he apologizes. Isak grabs his keys beside the door and steps out, closing his apartment. 

"Don't worry, my friend is always doing this." If Isak can't stay with Even and charm him until Even is in love with him, he can at least start by emphasizing 'friend' as much as possible, even though he knows he's being too obvious. 

Even lets out the slightest laugh and Isak thinks he loves it more than his guitar and voice combined. 

"You're too nice to me. I'll stop keeping you from your friends now. I'll see you around?" 

"Maybe, when I come and give you a second complaint." Isak jokes, wanting to make a million more jokes when it makes Even smile back. 

"Consider it serenading, it makes me a nicer person." Isak doesn't know what to say to that. He nods with a small smile lingering on his lips and feels dumb. 

Even turns towards his apartment. "So I'll see you around?" 

"Yes," Isak says, saluting. Even smiles and goes in. 

 

-

Isak doesn't go to the party. He barely even speaks to his friends because the entire time he's with them he's worried. He doesn't want Even to stop playing music at night, but because he seems like a very kind person, he's almost sure Even will stop for the person who is somehow bothered by Even's music. 

He doesn't understand the complaint. He almost wants to switch apartments with that tenant, because apparently, it's loud enough there for it to bother them. 

He goes home and only feels a little bad. 

He can't remember if Even usually takes this long to start playing. He hopes it does, he hopes the feeling that he won't play is his own mind psyching him out. He knows he will stay up all night waiting for it. 

When Even starts playing Isak wants to laugh, he's so relieved and a little tipsy. He barely minds that Even isn't singing. When Even gets to the chorus he wants to cry. 

_it's you, it's you,_

_it's all for you,_

_everything I do._

_I tell you all the time,_

_heaven is a place on earth with you,_

_tell me all the things you want to do_

 

-

The next morning, it's Isak knocking on Even's door. 

"Hi," he breathes out. It's early. He knows this. Last night was the first night Isak didn't fall asleep to Even's song. Last night was the first night Isak noticed he only played one song. He couldn't fall asleep after hearing that. He didn't sleep. This is the only time he'll feel confident and just delirious enough to initiate something with his singing neighbor. 

"Good morning," Even replies. "Do you want to come in?" He asks and Isak doesn't think before he nods. 

"You can sit anywhere, really," Isak sits on the stool behind Even's counter. 

"I'm sure you'll be glad to hear that I found a compromise last night. I only played one song last night, and it was hard to pick one that I'd be satisfied with, but I did. I think that should keep that guy from having me kicked out," Even explains, leaning against the counter beside Isak. Isak decides right there looking at Even that he would move if Even was kicked out. 

"I liked the song," Isak blurts out. He's usually smoother than this, doesn't give himself away so easily. He's played hard to get and has gotten plenty of guys to hook up with him, even girls years ago (which is a feat when you're very gay). But Even makes him feel like a pre-teen who has no idea how to speak to his crush. "I mean, what's the name of the song? It was nice."

"Video Games," Even answers. "In context, it's not as sweet, so I only sang that part. Thought it would be nice to sing for my audience," and that's it.

"For the guy who complained about you?" Isak asks, his eyes scanning Even face. It distracts him from noticing how close his face is to Even's. 

"No," Even says as he shakes his head a little, keeping his eyes focused on Isak's. It would make Isak feel uncomfortable if it was anyone else. 

"Can I tell you what I want?" Isak suddenly feels braver as he says this, placing a hand on Even's shoulder. Even nods and finally breaks the intense eye contact with Isak, his eyes darting to Isak's lips. It's so brief. It almost doesn't happen. 

"I want you to play for me," he starts, "I want you to somehow play your guitar perfectly and kiss me the entire time." 

Even laughs softly.

"That would be a little distracting," his eyes go back to Isak's lips but now they're not leaving. "I don't want to half-ass either thing. I could kiss you now and make that count and play for you after," he offers. Isak is too busy almost having an out-of-body experience. He just nods, staring at Even's eyes. 

"That works."

When Even kisses him it feels like every song he's ever played for Isak is flowing through his entire body, and Isak's never felt something so real. 

They kiss and Even has Isak on his bed listening to Even play every song he's ever wanted Isak to hear and Isak can only watch him and feel everything he's felt for Even build up inside him. He occasionally stops Even to kiss him, and that's how they spend the morning and afternoon, they don't eat and Isak is struggling to stay awake. 

He's embarrassed when he wakes up at 8 pm in Even's arms, but grateful that it's a Saturday. He's no longer embarrassed when he sees how Even looks at him and offers to make him food at night. Isak accepts. 

He spends the night with Even. 

"I saw you when I was moving in, you know," Even confesses Sunday morning. It comes out of nowhere because they're just watching a movie on Even's computer that Isak is paying less attention to than the beating of Even's heart underneath his ear. He looks up at Even. 

"Really?" He asks. He feels bad. He hadn't seen Even until Even came up to him and probably still wouldn't have seen him if Even hadn't done that. 

"Yes," Even says, playing with Isak's hair. "I saw you going into your apartment with a guy with curly brown hair from the stairs when I was carrying stuff up to my apartment." 

"Oh. Yeah, that's Jonas, the guy who called me Friday. I didn't know you saw me that early on. I'm such a mess, I didn't know you moved in until I heard you playing music and I knew it wasn't the old neighbor because she was an old woman. I couldn't even be one hundred percent sure you were a new neighbor, she could've brought a young guy home who wanted to make her swoon with his guitar." 

Even laughs. "No, I wanted to make you swoon. To be fair, I started playing a few days after I moved in. I didn't know which song could show that I felt silly but still indignant about my crush on you." 

Isak smiles and kisses him. That's all he's done this weekend and that's all he wants to do ever. They keep kissing and eventually give up on the movie. 

"You know which one was my favorite?" Isak asks as he pulls away. Even hums. 

"Which?" He's holding Isak's jaw. 

"XO. Somehow you made that into an acoustic song. It was impressive," Isak laughs. 

Even laughs a little as he furrows his eyebrows. "It's not that hard to do," he admits. 

"I don't know shit about music," Isak says and kisses Even as he laughs. 

 

-

"How did you know I'd hear you?" 

"I didn't" 

"Like, I hoped. But I wasn't sure." 

"Okay. Well, how did you know that I liked Black Mirror?"

"Hm? What is that?"

"Do you seriously not know what Black Mirror is?"

"No,"

"That's the only way I knew what that song was. Wait, so you just have a mental Rolodex of cheesy love songs?"

"Yeah, sometimes it helps get blondes in bed with me."

 

-

"I'd like you to stay but you should probably go back to your place and actually sleep," Even advises Isak when Isak tells him he has a class at 8 Monday morning later on in the night. 

"I slept well last night," Isak argues after taking his last bite of the toast that Even made for him. 

"You slept through most of Saturday and got like 2 hours of sleep at night when we weren't making out or singing." Even points out. Isak rolls his eyes. 

"I feel well rested," Isak assures. Even holds his hand. 

"I don't want you to nod off in class again. I'll still play for you since I'm so integral to your life by now," he teases. 

"Shut up," Isak says even though he'd never agree to go back to his place if Even didn't play for him. 

Isak knows Even is right. He's finally been concentrating fully in his classes and he doesn't want to mess that up again. He knows he'd stay up all night with Even. He knows Even is only trying to help him. 

"I'm gonna miss you though," Isak says before he leaves Even's door. 

"So dramatic. Here, I'll walk you to your door." Even jokes, holding Isak's hand and taking a few steps to Isak's door. "Oh, here we are."

"Shut up," Isak laughs. He unlocks his door and kisses Even again, and before he can walk in and close his door, Even asks, "any requests tonight?" 

Isak thinks. "I don't know. I've never asked, which is nice I guess? You can just keep surprising me." 

Even nods and kisses him again before saying goodbye and letting Isak close his door. 

Isak starts getting ready for bed and he's only brushing his teeth as Even starts playing his song, so he rushes and jumps into bed before he misses it. 

_on an island in the sun,_

_we'll be playing and having fun_

_and it makes me feel so fine_

_I can't control my brain_

_we'll run away together_

_we'll spend some time_

_forever_

_we'll never feel bad anymore_

This is probably Isak's favorite one now. He has a face to match to the voice and he has memories that make him feel euphoric as he falls asleep. 

 

-

Isak texts Even Monday when he finishes all his classes. The weekend feels like a dream. Isak isn't sure it wasn't. He didn't see anyone but Even, didn't even talk to anyone but Even, didn't do anything but think about Even and be with Even. His entire weekend was Even and Even didn't talk to him Monday. 

When Jonas and Magnus ask Isak where he was all weekend he figures he was in bed all weekend having some weird fever dream. 

Isak didn't feel sure about seeing Even face to face.

**Isak:** hey hope you had a good day today. do u wanna hang out somewhere tonight? I dont have class tomorrow morning

Isak knows it sounds desperate but Isak is desperate to make the weekend feel real. 

**Even:** hello Isak. sorry, Im pretty busy this week, but Ill tell you if im free at any point.

**Isak:** ok thats fine :)

So the weekend did happen. But maybe not how Isak remembers it. 

Because Isak remembers Even just as infatuated with Isak as he was with Even. He wouldn't make something like that up in his head, he barely believes what he knows he witnessed. 

Maybe he just shouldn't trust himself. Maybe every thing that Even said and everything that Even did that made Isak feel ridiculously intoxicated wasn't as intense as Isak remembers it in reality. He's pretty susceptible to attractive guys, someone as attractive as Even just looking at Isak would have him lovesick.

Ultimately, it all depended on what Even played for Isak tonight. If he played for Isak. Because no matter how much Isak didn't trust himself, he knew the songs were real. 

_i've been feeling foolish,_

_you should try it,_

_she came and substituted peace and quiet._

_acrobatic blood flow concertina,_

_cheating heartbeat,_

_rapid fire._

Even only plays that one song and Isak almost doesn't sleep. 

 

-

Tuesday night is the first night Even doesn't play a song for Isak in two months. It's probably a little less than two months, Isak doesn't know, as far as he's concerned, it's the first time in all his life that he doesn't fall asleep to Even's music. 

He doesn't fall asleep at all. 

And it persists. Wednesday he naps out of exhaustion when he gets home. He sleeps like he used to before Even Friday night. And Saturday he decides to go to Jonas's to forget Even. 

Not that he can, because all he does is get drunk and think about Even. 

"I don't want to go home" he hiccups as Jonas and Mahdi are helping him up to his apartment. 

"Is he really better there?" Mahdi asks. 

"Yeah, my mom is gonna be freaked out if she sees him passed out drunk tomorrow. I didn't think he'd get like this, I thought we'd just hang out," Jonas explains, trying to open Isak's door as Mahdi helps him steady beside his apartment. 

"You didn't stop him," Mahdi accuses as he leads Isak in. 

"You didn't either," Jonas argues. They help Isak get out of his jeans and in his bed. 

"Yeah, I thought you were cool with it!" 

"Please don't leave me here," Isak pleads from his bed. He hiccups again. "I won't sleep," he says, despite already relaxing on his bed. 

Shortly after, Jonas and Mahdi leave when Isak falls asleep. 

Isak doesn't leave his house Sunday. He can't stand the thought of leaving anywhere and for once he appreciates the deafening silence throughout his apartment. 

He spends the whole day in disbelief with himself. How could one weekend fuck him up so badly? One weekend and one text. That's all it took for Isak's entire week to derail and have him wondering if he'll ever get back on track. He hates that it took one weekend with a stranger to fuck him up. One sincere weekend with a stranger that he spent the past two months idolizing in his head. One weekend with a stranger that said everything that Isak has every wanted to hear. One weekend with a stranger who made Isak lose his mind with a simple kiss. 

It felt beyond pathetic. 

He felt beyond pathetic. 

By the time nighttime comes around, he's absolutely losing his mind. It was a combination of self-pity and desperation that does it. He starts singing despite his voice that doesn't want to make any noise if Even isn't listening. 

_if I've forgotten how to sing_

_before I've sung this song,_

_then I'll write it all across the wall_

_before my job is done._

_as the final words before I'm dead and gone_

_you've never been so divine in accepting your defeat_

_and I've never been more scared to be alone_

_if love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep_

_then I'm putting out the lantern_

_find your own way back home_

It's not pretty. Isak's not a singer. And if Even's angry neighbor was fake, Isak would definitely make up for it with one of his own. He doesn't know what to do when he's done singing. That's it. 

When Isak hears a knock at his door, he actually cries. When Even sees Isak, he regrets everything. 

 

-

Isak's biochemistry lecture can wait. Isak's friends can wait. Isak's real life can wait. 

Everything Isak cares about can wait for Even. Even if Even is a weird fever dream. 

"It was way too quick. I didn't tell you anything," Even looks like he wants to cry. Isak just got done, he's embarrassed enough already, he cares about Even but he doesn't want to embarrass himself further by clumsily dealing with Even crying in front of him. 

Isak doesn't respond, he just keeps playing with Even's hair in his lap. 

"I didn't tell you anything that I needed to tell you, I just got completely caught up in you." Isak believes him. Anyone else, Isak wouldn't believe. 

"There's so much about me that you need to know and you don't and you shouldn't depend on someone like me. But you don't know that. And I didn't tell you anything." Isak doesn't know what to say. 

"Can you sit up, please?" 

Even sits beside Isak and Isak kisses him. 

"You did everything for me," he says, cupping Even's cheek. 

"I'm bipolar," Even blurts out. He scans Isak's face for any indication of anything. 

"You played me music for two months," Isak continues. "You fucking serenaded me for two months. I don't know, Even. I never felt so at home in my own place before."

"We spent the simplest weekend together and it made me feel like I've known you my entire life," Isak doesn't break eye contact. 

"You helped me sleep for the past two months and made me feel like I had my life back on track." Even is still scanning Isak's face. Like he's waiting for a 'but.' Like he's waiting for 'thank you but no thank you.' Like he's thinking too much. 

"You mean so much to me already, Even. I feel like a teenager in my first relationship." Isak manages to laugh a little but Even still looks like he's about to cry. 

"I've never been in a relationship with a person with a mental illness. I don't know what it's like. And yeah, I shouldn't be so dependant on another person. But you're still capable of helping me. And if there would be any reason that I wouldn't want to be with you, it wouldn't be because you're bipolar. I don't have any reason to not be with you" Isak starts kissing his face. 

"I really want to try. If I don't try I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I want to do this with you," Even is crying by the time Isak says this. 

-

"Okay, this is a little silly," Isak says loud enough for Even to hear. 

"Come on, isn't this romantic?" 

Isak's face is plastered against the wall as he sits on the floor, not at all feeling swooned. 

"Nope," he says, "I'd rather be next to you like a normal person." 

"But this is, like, the beginning of everything, babe," he argues. Isak can hear him starting to strum his guitar absent-mindedly. 

"I'm not even sure that I'm supposed to be here, do you think they'll yell at me if they find me still here?" Isak asks. He's actually concerned about someone coming in and kicking him out of his old apartment. 

"I don't know, you can say that you were trying to listen to how loud we can be to not bother the new neighbors." 

Isak is sure that Even can also hear Isak shake his head through the wall. 

"You'll let me get in our apartment faster if I let you play a song won't you?" 

Even laughs, "Yes, this is the last time we get to do this, enjoy it, please."

"Okay, go ahead. Make me fall in love, Romeo." 

Isak recognizes the song and this time, he can pinpoint exactly which song it is. 

 

_the world may think I'm foolish_

_they can't see you like I can_

_oh, but anyone who knows what love is_

_will understand_

**Author's Note:**

> (sorry I used island in the sun I'm even more sorry that I actually like the song)
> 
> For clarification, the last part is set months in the future. I don't have a specific idea how far in the future, but if they follow canon, it's not too long after right. thank you for reading, any & all constructive criticism is welcome! I didn't explicitly mention some small things in the story so if there are any questions like "was the guy who complained about even real?" I can answer those too (he wasn't, btw).


End file.
